Medium So Large: My Plus Size Psychic Struggles

I redrafted my diet today to shave some calories off my daily intake as well as this face. This week I’ve also begun going to bed earlier so I can do yoga and write in the mornings. I’m going to try to keep myself honest and if you’re interested in seeing such a journey, I’ll be sharing pictures and maybe some short video journals with you here and on FB (@soulunfold), and Insta (@soul_unfold_tarot).

I’m currently on a 1200 calorie diet (when I don’t cheat) and an hour of yoga a day. Part of my *new* adventure as well is to sit down and write for an hour a day so I can finally publish that book I’ve been promising you all for about 3 years.  Anybody else out there still trying these things? #weightlossjourney2020 #yogapractice #psychic #psychicmedium #followmyweightlossjourney #psychicwritinglife #psychicwriter #mediumsolarge

Habits = Happiness: An investigation into confidence and manageable life change

I’m the first person to be annoyed when someone chastises me about better habits, negative thinking, etc…my inner b#%ch usually screams something about walking a mile in my shoes/does this person want a foot in their a$$/not all of us were born lucky, while I nod and smile politely.

However…there is something to be said for honest effort. There are a few things I need to change in my life:

1. My weight and general wellness

2. I need to organize my closets and cupboards/make my living space more efficient

3. I need to make more $$/have a healthier financial standing

4. I need to cook more and generally relax and stop holding my breath. I need to find time to just enjoy my life, which I’m not doing much of lately. I steal minutes from myself here and there while I mostly work myself to death.

5. I need to keep working to trust my gifts (I have had great success in this in the last year or so) and continue to just “see what I say” to build my clairvoyance and mediumship.

Building the habit of happiness will help me stay on track with shoring up the habits that will help me reach these goals. One of my main obstacles to success is what my mom used to diagnose as “lack of patience”–but as an adult, I see what she meant, and I see exactly what it is.

Sometimes I don’t believe in my power to make good things happen. I don’t believe in my own ability to change. This involuntary fear is depressing, and soul sucking, and it makes it hard for me to get up in the morning.

I have helped scores of people change their lives at this point through spiritual work, but I don’t believe in my own ability to change for the better. I don’t believe in my ability to do just about anything right, some days.

How screwed up is that? I have a whole book on deck about it. One time I was struggling to open this incredibly complex umbrella I borrowed (why why why would it have a hidden latch!?) while a security alarm counted down, and suddenly BAM I got it open and all was well. I literally just could not believe in my own ability to do this and was amazed when I figured it out.

To open an UMBRELLA.

Every time I successfully finish a spin class, I’m on top of the WORLD because I’m positive at the beginning that I will make a fool of myself and fall off the bike. However, 99% of the time I do not fall.

There is that one time I kicked my water bottle clear across the room, but that’s an anomaly.

My point is–I have a problem. I’ve had a problem for a long time: it’s called clinical depression and it doesn’t always go away. The generalized anxiety disorder did go away–and I thank my spirit guides every day that it’s gone and I have a new grip on life. I’m still depressed, though. I still feel like I can’t make a difference in my life or the world at large. I generally feel like I let literally everyone down every day, except for every now and then.

And I share this with you because so many people sit across from me at my desk at Willow or on video chat and tell me the same things I’m telling you here. But in them, I see the light of potential. I show them all of the paths their lives can take and what the potentials are for each choice.

And some of them come back to me, their light within shining, their lives changing because THEY made changes. I know it’s possible. I know it’s real. I see it every day.

My point is…what if it’s time for radical reassignment of who you are? I know it’s that time for me. I need to aggressively make these habits a priority, to plow through whatever used to stop me. Maybe I need to fully, unabashedly, powerfully believe in my ability to change myself and make an impact on the world, even if it’s just one more person. Maybe it’s time for me to believe in my thoughts, my ideas, my feelings, my own intellect, and bask in the love I show others while I amplify it outward.

One of the places to start is to document every day 3 things that I am happy for, and 3 things that I did this day that are remarkable and, also, how I’m feeling at that moment in time. I’m thinking this can’t hurt, it will take only a few minutes – really, the amount of time I’m usually spending watching pet videos on Facebook – and maybe it’s something I’ll be able to share with you all, along with my “Hearts Found in the Wild” photos you can see on my Instagram (@soul_unfold_tarot) and my Facebook (@soulunfold), which I may start sharing here as well.

There has been a wild Valkyrie living inside me for a long time, and I think she’s sick of the bullsh&$. She wants to be free, and I think I’m going to let her. I think I’ve known she’s been there for awhile and have neglected her.

After all this time, she may be what I’ve been seeking. It’s time to be the change I want to see.

In love and light,


2 Posts Coming Soon—Life: Cubed and The Accidental Medium

I can tell from my stats that readers check my site on a daily basis, so I like to keep you all informed when new posts are coming soon. Today I am continuing work on 2 posts that I started earlier in the week; each post does take me about 2 to 2.5 hours to complete, and then, of course, I want to edit them 16 more times, but sometimes I just have to post it to keep the blog alive! This week I am working on 2 posts simultaneously, because I find both of the ideas too compelling and fun to write about to put off.
Earlier this week, I was thinking again about the concept of balance—specifically, homeostasis. Courtesy of, we know that homeostasis is a noun that refers to a state or condition of a system—
The tendency of a system, especially the physiological system of higher animals, to maintain internal stability, owing to the coordinated response of its parts to any situation or stimulus that would tend to disturb its normal condition or function.
Psychology: a state of psychological equilibrium obtained when tension or a drive has been reduced or eliminated.
This little tidbit will lead to me telling you that life is a Rubik’s cube, why the Rubik’s cube is a perfect metaphor for life, and ultimately, why it is you can accept your life decisions and live in peace with them—all of them—even when they lead to chaos and disorder, even while working to achieve homeostasis. After beginning this post, I also happened to read, fortuitously, without Googling, just by opening up a browser, that the Rubik’s Cube graduated into the National Toy Hall of Fame 2 days after I started writing the post. This is the kind of synchronicity that tells me when I am on the right track and, now that you are reading this post, this is the kind of synchronicity that tells you the Universe intended for you to encounter it.
My second post for the week is one that I considered for some time but was unsure whether it would be too didactic for my readers’ tastes. A friend mentioned this week that some of my terminology could bear some explanation, and that it would be interesting to know more of my back story—i.e., how did I come into awareness as a medium. This post will contain some information from the book that I am writing about my experiences with severe depression, anxiety and, ultimately, mediumship, but it will not give away the whole shebang, because I want you all to be interested in my book when it is fully complete. I also plan to share in coming posts (anonymously, with all identifying details removed) some of the sessions and overall experiences I have had as a medium and Reiki practitioner thus far.
Overall, thank you as always for reading, and I hope you enjoy the posts when they are finished, as well as all of my previous posts. Drop me a line in the comments if you have any questions for me or any suggestions for future posts. I am looking into adding a frequently asked questions—medium style section to the site and maybe a possible forum-like area where people could post questions and I could answer them regularly. Feel free to follow me as well or drop me a line on Twitter @soulunfold.
Talk to you all soon. In love and light—Erica.

Healing Begins

This morning while I was in the shower, I was mulling over some recent advice from an intuitive I met at a festival a couple of weeks ago.  “Transformation,” he said, would be my path to the life I have dreamed about.  It’s all waiting for me, but I need to transform myself.  I assumed he meant physically, but as I venture further down this path of spiritual development, I realize that it’s a holistic transformation I’m after.  He showed me the card of a lotus blossoming, and said that that was what I needed to do.

So what’s my next step, then?  As I showered, I thought of Althea, my spirit guide. I thought of Althea tending her garden, pruning shrubs and enriching the soil and watering the gorgeous plants.  I thought of the garden as the landscape of my spirit–Althea is growing my spirit with her tending. I thought of her cutting some of the flowers, and sending synchronistic signs to me like bouquets.  I thought of my spirit growing and becoming lush and full, as a garden will do over time–I thought of the before and after photos of home gardens, and I thought of my own mother, who loves to watch her garden grow. And it comforted me to think of my soul flowering for its gardener.

Later, for the first time, I heard the song “Balance” by the band Future Islands. The lyrics say it precisely, “And you can clean around the wound/But if you want it to heal/It just takes time.”

The Future Islands get it right–it does take time. The next stanza of the lyrics tells us that it takes more than time–but it takes something we all have–hard work, “And you can go up to the moon/but if you want something to change/you gotta change your life/and take your time/it just takes time/hard work and your time.”

My soul is a landscape right now with some dry patches, some places that need the enrichment of love, attention, mindfulness, compassion, patience, and joy. Althea and I are planting our spring bulbs and maintaining the earth, but we can’t make it flower overnight. We can, however, tend the gardens daily and watch the bulbs slowly unfurl, step by step, and push up through the earth in their glorious, natural process. And yeah, I’ve worked on going up to the moon, but if I want transformation, baby–I have to change my life and take my time.

And finally, when it’s darkest, you know, right before the morning comes, “there’s a certain calm/and then there’s light.” For those of you out there who are interested in Tarot, these lyrics speak to me of The Star–a card that heralds a time for healing, a time for balance, and most of all, a time for <i>hope</i>.  This song and The Star card were messages for me because it’s time for me to heal the landscape of my soul–my soulscape, if you will–before I can achieve my goals.